Face to Face: 2010

Looking for Christmas presents that are different than your usual gifts? How about Praise Guitar instead of Guitar Hero. Or instead of Barbie or Bratz dolls, how about God’s Girlz dolls? Perhaps you’d like to teach your family a lesson on giving back and would like to purchase a flock of geese for a family in Africa or Asia. Or maybe you just want to buy fair trade goods. Check out these links to find all kinds of Christmas goodies!

www.tenthousandvillages.com (they also have a store in Cary Town)

http://www.toms.com/

What other places do you know of?

Back to School usually means new friends or at the very least, new peers and classmates. This can be a very scary thing for parents who can't be with their kids 24/7 to be their protective guide. However, there are things that we can do to help teach our children how to choose friends that will keep them in the straight and narrow while teaching them to be like Jesus by reaching out to those in need of love and the truth. We know that peers affect us at a very young age, whether in negative terms by diminishing our self-esteem or by "supporting our sense of self and offer[ing] us a sense of belonging" (Liisa Hawes). Here is some helpful advice from Parenting Magazine and Childrens Ministry Magazine. Make sure to check out the websites for friend checklists and other tips!

TEACHER TIPS / 10 - 12 YEARS
Positive Peer Pressure
Jill Nelson

Peer pressure. Say those two powerful words, and they can strike fear in your heart! But add the word "positive" and you have a tool that will help kids learn...to make the best choices. Positive peer pressure. These three words pack a powerful punch -- just the kind of positive punch we want in children's lives to help them make good decisions when we're not around. It's important to understand the nature of positive peer pressure and take action to foster its benefits.

"Peer influences are normal and necessary in our lives," says Liisa Hawes, marriage and family counselor with the Calgary Community Learning Association. She adds that our peers support our sense of self and offer us a sense of belonging. Peers begin to affect us at a young age.

"I have a 3-year-old daughter who couldn't sit still for mealtimes if it were just us," says Chris Lister, a mother and preschool teacher's aid. "But when she was in her classroom, she willingly sat with a group of her peers to eat and 'chat' in her limited vocabulary. She seemed to eat better in this setting, too."

The beneficial influence of peers continues into adulthood. If we ask ourselves why we do what we do, we'll admit that many of our choices come from the groups we hang out with -- even as adults. For example, when we go to work or church, most of us wear clothes that fit that environment. We all have a basic need for acceptance, and that's why peer pressure works -- whether it's positive or negative.

What The Bible Says

We can find a great definition of positive peer pressure in Hebrews 10:24: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." The Greek word that translates to "spur" in this verse is paroxusmos, meaning "incitement." Incite means "to provoke to action." In addition, paroxusmos provides the basis for a great but seldom-used English word "paroxysm," which means "a sudden attack or outburst." The word "consider" in Hebrews 10:24 means to give serious, deliberate thought about a specific topic. So the meaning of the entire verse becomes clearer with the understanding of these words.

God commands us to consciously plan ways to incite one another to outbursts of goodness. This is positive peer pressure at its best! It's like a riot of positivity! An examination of the gospels reveals the amazing fact that if it weren't for positive peer pressure, Peter might not have followed Jesus. In John 1:40-42, we learn that Peter's brother, Andrew, was among John the Baptist's followers. When John the Baptist pointed out Jesus as the Messiah (John 1:35-36), the first person Andrew ran to tell was Peter. Scripture records that Andrew "brought" Peter to meet Jesus, implying that Andrew used some degree of persuasion. At first sight, Jesus looks straight into Peter's uncommitted heart and declares him to be a rock. Once Jesus makes this heart-to-heart connection, Peter attaches himself to Jesus. But it likely wouldn't have happened without Andrew's positive peer pressure.

From Negative To Positive

We can actually use positive peer pressure to help kids defuse situations such as bullying. Susan, age 14, was in tears. Other girls at school teased, "you're just like a boy," because she loves athletics. Then the situation got worse. They stopped talking to her because she dared to have lunch with another girl this "in group" had ostracized. "I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't a church school," she sobbed to her mother. They're supposed to be Christians."

"Why don't you start your own group for outcasts?" Susan's mother suggested. "After all, that's what Jesus told us to do -- go to those outside."

Susan followed her mother's advice and, within a week, a group of seven girls were fast friends. Of course, as a group of their own, the others' teasing no longer mattered much. In another case, Genetta Adair tells a story about her friend's son, Brad, and a new kid in school named Matt. Matt thought swearing would make him sound cool and help him make friends. Brad, however, boldly told Matt that kind of talk didn't impress him. Quickly, Matt's behavior changed.

"I'm glad for Brad's courage to speak up," Genetta says. "Brad could've just shunned Matt and never had a positive influence on him. With that choice, though, Brad would've missed out on a great friendship." Brad and Matt's interaction is an example of positive peer pressure helping someone change a negative behavior. Positive peer pressure can also encourage friends to do things that are good for them, even if they're reluctant to take the plunge. My daughter, Elizabeth, was looking for her niche in high school. She thought about trying out for the dance-line team. But because she'd had some bad experiences with new things in the past, she was nervous about failing. Thanks to encouragement and a few tips from friends, Elizabeth not only made the team but also won an award at dance-line camp for her performance. She's happy she listened to her friends, and the experience still motivates her to excel.

Read more of the article here:
http://www.childrensministry.com/articles/positive-peer-pressure

The Peer Problem
By Rebecca Banks Zakin, Parenting

When most parents hear the phrase "peer pressure," they usually think of wayward teenagers. But the influences, both positive and negative, that our children's friends exert appear much earlier and in a host of different ways.

"My son came home from school in the first grade and said, 'Dad, I can't play with the girls anymore,'" says Michael Thompson, Ph.D., a child psychologist and coauthor of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys ($25, Ballantine Books). "I said, 'Why not?' And he told me, 'Cause Jack says I can't. Jack -- and Nathan, too.' I asked him if he could ever play with the girls, and he said, 'Well, I guess I can when Jack and Nathan are sick.'"

Though peer pressure does peak during the junior-high years and continues into high school, children as young as the third grade begin to understand the "mechanics of popularity," say Patricia Adler, Ph.D., and Peter Adler, Ph.D., coauthors of Peer Power: Preadolescent Culture and Identity ($17, Rutgers University Press). They are well aware of who's cool, who's not, and what it takes to be part of the "in" crowd.

Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that will completely shield a child from peer pressure. "We're very dependent and interdependent animals," says Thompson. "We need to be part of a group. That sense of inclusion is incredibly important to us and kids suffer terribly if they're not part of a group." As much as children want to belong, however, there are steps parents can take to strengthen a child's sense of self and security that will help her ride the waves of peer pressure rather than get pulled down by the undertow.

1. Teach decision-making. It's important that your children know how to make decisions for themselves. "That way, they will know how to make wise and safe choices later on," says Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of Parents DO Make a Difference ($18, Jossey-Bass). "Begin making safe decisions -- 'Do you want to wear the red coat or the blue coat?' -- with very young children at ages two and three. Kids who can make decisions for themselves later on are kids who have been practicing all along."

2. Provide positive influences. Give your child the chance to get involved with "good kids" -- perhaps at church or synagogue, 4-H clubs, scout troops, and volunteer groups. These environments can foster responsibility and organization; honors classes or study groups may even push your child to hit the books. "Parents want positive peer pressure; good or bad, the invisible influence is still the same," says Thompson. "A child is going to be quite willing to do his homework at night if he knows all his classmates are doing it."

3. Play the part. Have your child practice sounding and looking assertive when he stands up to peer pressure. Just saying "no" doesn't mean much when your child sounds like she doesn't really mean it. "I use an acronym, CALM," says Borba. "'C' stands for talking calmly and using a confident voice. The second thing is asserting yourself -- that's the 'A' -- tell the person what you feel. The 'L' stands for looking him squarely in the eye. The 'M' stands for saying it like you mean it, with a firm voice. That's the behavior of assertiveness -- standing tall and holding yourself straight."

Read the other 10 tips here:

http://www.parenting.com/article/Toddler/Health--Fitness/The-Peer-Problem-21354352

Face to Face

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Gifts that keep on giving!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Monday, September 13, 2010

Back to School

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sunday School

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Kids' Workcamp Set for Sept 24-26 at Westview on the James

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Road Trip!

CBN Site for Kids

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